We’re Having A Girl!

On Wednesday we had an overnight visit with D. First, I went to the foster parent’s home and had a lesson on how to handle her medical needs.

Have I mentioned this is a special needs adoption?

D was born with Short Gut Syndrome. She has several ongoing medical needs as a result of this. She has had some surgeries and will have to have more in the future. But she is amazing in how she handles her special needs! It will take some learning and practice on our part, but with God’s grace and D’s patience we will get the hang of things. (More on that later.)

After our lesson we buckled up and headed home. Aidan tagged along so we could have some ‘in ride’ entertainment. 🙂

At home we had fun showing her around, and she had fun exploring. It is so different from when we brought Caspian home because he was not walking or talking. We didn’t have to worry too much about child-proofing. We learned quickly that things are different this time around. D, just like any 5 yr old, is very curious and full of energy. Good thing we have so many helping hands that are ready to entertain. After a little time at home we got cleaned up and ready for prayer meeting. Wednesday night was Kinnon’s first time to preach at our church, so we all went to support him. He did an amazing job and so did the little ones listening to big brother.

The rest of our visit time was filled with jumping on the trampoline, drawing with sidewalk chalk, and walking on OBU’s campus. We finished the night with the Lego Movie, and yes:

“EVERYTHING WAS AWESOME!”  

Thursday afternoon we took her back to her foster mom. I am praying hard for her little spirit. I can see she is torn between two families right now. After a discussion with the foster mom and case worker, we decided she needed the weekend with the foster parents for ‘forever family’ celebrations/goodbyes. On Monday the foster parents will bring D to our house. They will bring all her things and help move her into our home! This is called the “Placement Visit.” Paperwork will be signed, and we will become her guardians. The State of Arkansas requires placement in our home for 6 months before we can adopt her. Then, she will legally be a Dodson. We will be her pre-adoptive parents until we get a court date around the first of next year. This is why we can’t use her full name or show pictures of her precious face. Don’t worry: Joey will bombard you with pics after that court date. All the legal and technical stuff aside…

WE’RE HAVING A GIRL…ON MONDAY!!!

Treading Softly

How do you help a little girl, who has been with the same foster family for 3 years, transition to her forever family?

How does a 5 year old even understand ‘forever family’?

How do you keep from hurting her as she is removed from her home yet again?

When we are around D we have so much joy. We can’t wait to have her home. We are weary from telling her good-bye.

But then I look into her sweet face and I see joy, but I also see glimmers of confusion, worry, and doubt. I know she is confused. I see us all treading softly on emotions. She has been in a loving and caring home for the past 3 years. She thought it was forever, that was all her little mind could process. She has been a part of a family who has fed her when she was hungry and cared for her when she was sick. They have gone to church together and on vacation together. They are wonderful foster parents but they can’t be her forever family. They know the time has come to help their little girl transition to a new home. God has called us to step up and be her parents. But I know she is wondering who we are?

Who is this family that has swooped in and in just a matter of weeks has become a big part of her life? What do we want from her? Why are we taking so many pictures of her?!! 🙂

How do I show her I will be there for her? How do I make her realize I want nothing more right now than to be her mommy? How do I earn her trust? How do I explain I will love and care for her forever?

This has been my conversation with God this morning…

“I need wisdom, Lord.”

 

Romans 8 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible and God took me back there this morning to remind of things he has taught me in the past.

“those who live according to the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires…the mind is governed by life and peace…The Spirit brought about your adoption…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. When we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us…And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose…nothing in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

This is what I know…I know God’s Spirit is in me, and in Him I have all life and peace. I know God adopted me into His family and He showed me His love. I know God has called us to provide a loving home for D. I know she may not understand but that’s okay. I don’t always understand God’s love for me, but He keeps on showing it. I know God will help me in my weakness and pray for me when I don’t know what to do next. I know His plan for us is perfect and He will not call us to do something He has not equipped us to do.

I know this transition will not be easy, but I know God will continue to give us wisdom to carry out what He has called us to do. And I know this is all I need to know right now.

Playing Games

Tuesday, July 15, 2014 will forever be…

The Day We Met Our Daughter, “D”.

And it was a pretty wonderful day!

D’s  gracious foster parents hosted us in their home. Before meeting with D, we met with them and went over details of D’s story, care, and medical issues. These foster parents are incredible. They have so nurtured our little D over the past few years. We will always be indebted to them for this care and for helping us prepare to be D’s forever family. After a couple of hours with them, D came in from school!

Let me tell you a little secret…SHE IS AMAZING!

So far, she only knows us as friends: but we instantly became great friends.

We spent over two hours coloring, singing, counting, writing, drawing, and playing games.

D is smart, kind, well mannered, patient, polite, friendly, gracious, and oh so beautiful!

The last activity we did with her was play a game of Sorry. It had been years since Joey and I had even seen a Sorry board, so D had to remind us how to play. Some how her rules were not quite how I remembered it. 🙂 I always thought the goal was to get all your pieces home but if you drew a ‘Sorry’ card you got sent back to start your journey all over.

Well, D’s version went like this…

(1) Draw a card. (2) Read it aloud joyously–no matter how small the number. (3) Round up. (4) Happily move your piece dancing around the board toward home. (5) If you happen to get a ‘Sorry’ card, that’s okay–just quietly slip it under the deck and draw again. (6) Oh, yeah, and after every move high-five the player to congratulate them on such a good job of counting and moving forward.

We loved her version! After all, sometimes in life you’ve already received more than your fair share of ‘Sorry’ cards, and everyone should get the chance to have a happy journey home.

What to do in the waiting

 What to do in the waiting…

It’s certainly not that I have tons of free time and that there is always more laundry to do, but my mind is just so consumed and my spirit is so restless. I have tried to find constructive things to to. Things that can be done while praying for our family. I love active praying, also know as praying without ceasing (1Thess. 5:17). Since my days as a mother began over 16 yrs ago I have practiced the skill of active praying. Praying as I go and do. Turning my inward conversation to God. Turning my worries into petitions. Being thankful through everything. Trying not to miss the little things.

Taking to heart Paul’s instructions given in his first letter to the Thessalonians:

“encourage the downcast, help the sick and weak, have patience with everyone…

always pursue what is good…

Celebrate always, pray constantly, and give thanks to God no matter what circumstances you find yourself in…

Take a close look at everything, test it, then cling to what is good….

So now, may the God if peace make you His own completely and set you apart from the rest.” (The Voice)

As I’ve been praying I’ve been…

crocheting her a blanket,

reading some adoption books,

buying some new books,

making her bed special,

praying over that special bed,

reading through lots of paperwork,

painting,

and oh yeah, blogging. 🙂

When your spirit is restless, try active prayer. I continue to find things to do with my idle hands while God moves my spirit.

Celebrate always, pray constantly, and give thanks

 

 

 

 

God is Good…Even in the Waiting

God is good ALL the time.

He is good when we are hurting, when we are sick, when we are searching, when we are hoping, when we are waiting…

If you have been reading along with our journey to get our little Diamond home to us, you know I have been struggling with emotions and patience. It is hard for me to focus on God’s goodness and perfect timing when I want answers and results now.

But then we turn a corner and God knocks us off our feet with His amazing goodness.

Let me give you some background. Due to much less than ideal circumstances and to the trauma of his premature birth, when our sweet Caspian was born he suffered a brain hemorrhage among other scary medical stuff. He was life-flighted to Arkansas Children’s Hospital. Since then he has been under the care of a wonderful Neurologist at Children’s. When Caspian came to us he was 19 months old, the case worker said he was seeing the neurologist every 4-6 months to monitor the fluid levels on his brain, the remnants from his hemorrhage. At our first visit to this doctor he explained that only time will tell how this fluid will affect his brain growth and development. We continued with his CT scans and neurology appointments. Other than Caspian’s level of fear and loathing for the CT machine these visits where fairly routine.

Until this week…

I was set for the same old routine and everything seemed to be headed in that direction. Caspian was scared and shut down in the waiting room. Then he screamed and cried at the top of his lungs during the CT. After the scan we proceeded upstairs to see the doctor for his analysis. The doctor looked at the scan, poked and prodded and measured and looked at the scan again. He then turned to me and said the words that shocked me, “I’m giving Caspian the ‘all-clear!'”

I did not even know this was an option for Caspian.

He showed me a chart where he had plotted Caspian’s brain development of the past 4 1/2 yrs. He said, “You see this first dot way down here. Kids that start out down here do not make it to up here” (as he pointed to Caspian’s current place on the chart). He then continued to explain that since Caspian’s 15 month appointment he has not had a single scan that worried him. Rather, after that 15 month scan, Caspian has made nothing but “sharp and distinct progress that is nothing short of miraculous.” He said he never thought Caspian would walk, much less run and do all he is doing. The old doctor was beaming with pride. My eyes filled with tears. God completely overwhelmed me.

The doctor did not realize the 15 month appointment was the last one before he came to us!

God has completely heal our baby’s little brain since Caspian has been with us.

Our God is good all the time, even in the waiting.

Prayer for 3 Mothers

Yesterday was Disclosure Day in our adoption process.

Once you have requested information on a waiting child, approved the adoption summary of that child, been picked as a match for that child, disclosure is the next step.

Disclosure Day is when a DHS Adoption Specialist comes to your home and discloses to you (the perspective adoptive parents) all the non-identifying information they know of the child’s history. As you can imagine the amount of information you have to cover varies depending on the child and their personal situation.  When we did Caspian’s disclosure the adoption specialist stressed how much information there was and how long it would take to go through the information. His disclosure was 1″ thick and approximately 500 pages long!

I thought it was long until yesterday when I saw Diamond’s disclosure. It is over 3 inches thick, approximately 1500 pages!! We sat for an hour with the case worker and briefly went through the highlights, then she left it with us to pore over. I sat at our dining room table for 4 hours last night organizing it into years so I could start making sense of it all. Almost all of the 1500 pages are medical information most of which I don’t understand. Thanks to an iPad and Google I am quickly educating myself. You see Diamond has special needs and until yesterday we had no idea how special they are. As I sat there cross-eyed from trying to decipher numerous doctors’ handwriting, I became very overwhelmed.

I had to take a break and gain some perspective. I began to question, ‘God, why us?’. As I sat by myself in our sunroom, I felt God say, ‘You know your file is pretty overwhelming as well. Yet, I see it before me and I still pick you’.

I broke down crying as I prayed for 3 mothers…

Lord, I don’t know this birth mother’s situation or her heart. I don’t know where she is or what she is going through right now. I don’t know the choices and circumstances that got her to this place to have her children taken into the custody of the state. I know You do. I know You love her and have a plan for her life and the life of her children. My heart breaks for her. Wherever she is wrap Your arms around her and show her Your love. I pray that You would bring loving, non-judgmental Christians into her life to show her Your love.

Lord, I lift up Diamond’s ‘Middle-Mom’ to You, her foster mom. I can see through all this paper work that she has really been there for this child. She has been to doctor’s appts, therapy sessions, and court dates. She has signed surgery documents and countless hours in waiting rooms and emergency rooms. She has wiped tears through some scary situations and through stitches when she slipped down in the bathroom. But most importantly, she has taught this sweet baby about You. She has been Your hands and feet to not only this little one but it seems many others in her care. I know she loves this little girl and I know this little girl loves her. I have not met her yet but I am so thankful for her. What an amazing show of your love! I am so humbled and challenged by this woman’s heart. I pray you bless her, her family and their home. Help them as they prepare to say good bye after so many years of faithful love and care. I can’t imagine how hard those goodbyes must be.

Lord, help me. Help me to be the mother you have called me to be to every one of the absolutely wonderful children you have us. Help me to be the hands and feet of You every day to each of them and please forgive me when I fail. Help me to give each of them what they need from me. Give Joey and I wisdom beyond our years to make hard decisions. Lord, to be honest I question all the time the huge responsibility you have given us in raising these children. I know as their mother, You will not give me more than I can handle and I trust Your perfect and pleasing will for my life. I know each one us mom’s have been called to do hard things. I know that You have big plans for this little girl’s life and I am so very humbled and honored to be a part of that plan. I don’t want to let You down in this calling to be her mother. Help me, Lord. I know I can’t do it but I am more than willing for You to do it through me.

Amen